Times Have Changed

In this day and age we don't fight for what we love instead we love who we fight. We tend to continuously argue with the people we love instead of trying to resolve our issues and better the relationship. Our first choice is to give up rather than work out through the tough times. When a tempest approaches in our relationships we disperse and get as far away from it when we should be tackling it head on. Why be in a relationship if you aren't going to better each other? Relationships come with trials and tribulations that's why when you are married they say through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. It won't be easy, but if you love someone and I mean TRULY love someone why let that go? Why not fight for the person you love? Our Grandparents generation was the last generation that FOUGHT for love and that's disturbing. We look at our grandparents and how they love each other and you telling me you can't help but wonder "how did they do it?" Young love is a BEAUTIFUL thing because it's love at it's PUREST form. The way our minds are set up, within the next 2-3 generations wanting "Love" will be a thing of the past. Cherish what you have now and the people you can have it with. Love is a beautiful thing and I was happy to experience it at such a young age :) 

Hey :)

Havnt posted in awhile lml but my life has been great so far I've done a lot of exploring this summer and really tried to get a grip on my life. I got a job now and making money for school and any other bullshit I want. I'm planning on movin out in a couple months with my brother which is a big step. I finish high school this year which is GREAT! I'm said to be out of the top 10 in my class lml, it pays off to be a geek. I'm just living my life as much as I can at this point and I hope everyone does the same. 

Why Did This Happen?

We Could of been something great
Why'd you throw it all away?
We could of had it all
Now my backs against the wall

I gave you all of me
But the truth you couldn't see
You were oblivious to Ur mistakes
Though I warned u everyday

All the times you could have stayed
But your past came to play
I still love you till this day
And that is hard to say

You were the torch
I was the lighter
You were the gloves
I was the fighter

We had eachothers backs
You gave my world a new purpose
We've been through this before
I just hoped it would hurt less

You don't recognize Ur faults
You just fall in the same pattern
So I just ride my bumpy roads
Because what I want doesn't matter

Tell Me Your Dreams

Well I Have Come To The Discovery that people actually view my blog lml. I never thought people can view this. Well since people are actually viewing it, I want my viewers to talk to me. Tell Mii your dreams, what do you want to do as a career. Everyone is able to comment Lml

My Love Story;

I'll Admit It Yeah I Miss Her, That Was My First True Love, But Shit Happens And You Just Gotta Live With It. Not Everything Comes Out The Way U Want It To. Would We Be Together In The Future? Who Knows, But I Learned Alot About Maturing During Tht Time. I Was Pushed To Limits I Didn't Believe I Could Reach, I Cared To A Point Where I Thought To Myself "I Have Never Cared About ANYTHING This Much". I Gave My ALL. The Way I Was With Her I Would Never Be With Another Female. We Talked Every Single Day From One Morning To The Next. School Days/Holidays/Weekends You Name It We Would Just Talk ALL Day Lml. I remember a time when we were alone in her house and i hugged her and looked at her and before i can say it, she said those words "i love you" and it made me feel wanted. There was a time when i was sick and throwing up in the morning and i wasnt gonna go to school but it was our 8 month anniversary so i went to school feeling like shit because i just wanted to see her. We use to talk about how our life would be in the future and how we would have a baby named Jaylin Conde and love it SOOOO Much. We talked about marriage and how she wanted me to be her first and i only ever saw myself being married to HER. i saw my whole life with her and i have NEVER seen tht in another girl. I was so.sure my life was gonna be with her and we would be happy together. I planned on purposing to her senior year of high school in a way i wont mention here. She was literally my EVERYTHING, she was my Queen, My Princess, My Baby, My Bambi, My Jaylin, My Owl lml. We talked about everything and i trusted her with my secrets. But Now We Dnt Even Say Two Words To Eachother :/. We ended for many reasons and i still cant wrap my head around it but i know i dnt like the way i ended up feeling. Life Sucks But You Live With It. I Don't Know My Future With Her But I'll Never Forget My Past.

So Much I Want To Say, but i dnt know how to say it. The end of each thing is the same outcome. I'm a friend.........a FRIEND but why can't i help but to want to be something much more than that. I stopped trying because each time i try is a fail. Our once funny phone conversations turn into this...........silence. the silence.kills me.because i just want to reach out to her and tell her again nd again how i feel but it won't matter. You're a friend Joel and that's all you will ever be from now on. Get it through ur head and stop playing this silly game of cat and mouse with ur heart. She doesn't want YOU anymore, not like that anyway. But you love her, and always will.

Lost

Idk how she feels anymore :/ it sucks but fck it its life. She has a crush, i'm happy for her. She might think im being a dick cuz we barely talk but its cuz i want her to be happy. If she is happy while talking to her bestfriend about a crush she has then so be it, i will fade into the background.